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2022 Issue  >  Poetry  >  Survivor's Remorse

by Jeff Weiland

Survivor's Remorse

Matt Mutiva

I'm worth my weight in bullshit 

When I'm anchored to the bottom 

Of a whiskey glass 


I hunt for witches in dead galaxies

In perennial gardens

And everybody's too drunk to see

The sadness peeling off the wall


And I realize that I have tormented myself

In the worst desert 

Where I am turned upward 

In the pouring rain


A mother offers her child 

To the destruction of the world

And I go to bed hungry for love

In an apartment loud with silence

So I give half a shit about 

When the rent's due, or who I owe

When we're all chasing the same nickel 


Any fucking way


So when you ask me what am I having?

And I tell you a good cry

Just be ready, with pen in hand

To lean in and write it all down

The one word answers about my day

The disorienting story about my ex

And there's a heavy heap of reasons 

Why I won't leave 

Matt Mutiva is a regular guy who writes what he can when he can. And when he can't, he writes anyway. If he's lucky, they'll call it poetry.

Jeff Weiland graduated from UW-Platteville Baraboo Sauk County in the 1980's and has always enjoyed photography. 

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